can you help me?
tell me what to do.
can you help me?
tell me when it will be?
can you help me?
tell me not to wait.
can you help me?
not asking me to give you more time.
can you help me?
to have a courage to say it is over.
can you help me?
to be fine
Gue lagi setengah jalan membaca Tuesday with Morrie, buku Mitch Albom. Kenapa setengah jalan, karena memang baru setengah dan nggak selesai-selesai, kesalip dengan buku lain seperti biasa.
Dan..wala!..ada bagian dari buku itu "Bagaimana mengontrol Emosi" dan most suprising..Morrie dalam buku itu berkata "SWITCH OFF YOUR FEELING"
Pas gue baca, and think in a pause mode "Really?" "Masa?"
Ya, lalu gue teruskan membaca sampai selesai, dan ok..gue jadi ngerti...
Swtich off your feeling, Matiin perasaan loe, itu seperti ketika sedih, putus asa kita biarkan perasaan itu ada, jangan hindari, dan pada suatu titik tertentu we said to our self "Oh. this is how it feel in pain and sad, so, mm..i want to try the other feeling" ...
Jadi tidak ada yang salah untuk merasakan titik terendah dalam perasaan sedih itu, untuk dapat kita naik kembali..seperti kita memiliki saklar hati "ada gak ya dijual?"... :)
Let it zero, to become a hero..hahaha..we are never going to have high, unless we have low..so right...Morrie!!!
We are never know what we are going to have. Seperti sahabat gue bilang "Reach your highest dream, the sky is your limit" Bener banget..hari ini, besok, lusa, minggu depan, bulan depan siapa yang akan tahu yang akan kita peroleh, yang akan kita dapat..dan yang akan kita jalani Untuk besok pun..bahkan kita tak pernah tahu, masih bertemu atau tidak dengan teman, sahabat, keluarga, love one...besok adalah misteri.
But, the most important is "The power of Mind...so true! "
Have it in your mind, you are never know that it will happen, coz it does!
Jumat malam, gue ngobrol sama temen gue, we have a nice chat, and we have the same dreams "Walking down in New York" bedanya dia cukup simpel mimpinya, jalan di downtown of New York with ipod in his ear, listening Jason Mraz "I'm Yours"..so simpel...
Kalo gue? tidak tahu kenapa dari dulu gue ingin sekali pas Natal di kota New York, melihat pohon natal yang besar, dan dengerin lagu "Let it Snow" berkumandang..
HHaaaahha...too high...i guess not..we are never know what we are going to have rite??...and i'm still keep that in my mind....
So, ummm..walking down in New york, anyone??
Diluar ramai, diluar gaduh
Orang teriak, orang tertawa
Mereka bercengkerama, tertawa bersama
Tetapi kenapa kamu tetap merasa sendiri?
Teman datang, teman pergi
Lelaki datang, perempuan pergi
Perempuan datang, lelaki pergi
Tetapi kenapa kamu tetap merasa sendiri?
Bising, hiruk pikuk
Tumpah ruah, senda gurau
Cinta datang,cinta pergi
Kamu tetap akan sendiri
Coz...you are alone in the crowd..
"Makanya hati-hati taruh barang" kalimat simpel banget yang mungkin tidak terpikir bahwa kalimat tersebut akan mempunyai arti yang lebih jauh dari arti sebenarnya kalimat itu sendiri, yaitu "kalo punya barang, taruhlah ditempat semestinya, sehingga mudah ditemukan, dan tidak kehilangan".
Simpel banget kata tersebut, dan kata itu juga simpel gue denger pas gue lagi kehilangan ikat rambut gue, gue lupa dan hilanglah itu ikat rambut.
Tapi gue rasa hati-hati meletakkan sesuatu (taruh) nggak hanya untuk barang, hati-hati taruh kata misalnya, jadi "jika kita berbicara atau berucap ya hati-hati, dengan kata-kata yang sudah terungkap, susah ditarik balik" implikasinya dua, bisa menyakiti bagi yang tidak menerima atau dilupakan karena nggak ada arti sama sekali. Serta kata tersebut bisa diletakkaan didua tempat juga, hanya ditelinga jadi hanya sambil lewat, atau ditaruh dihati jadi kepikiran.
Dan yang paling penting gue rasa "hati-hati taruh hati" salah taruh bisa sakit hati...hahahaa...we have to put it to the right person, we put it right, it is a happy ending, we put it wrong..ya tau sendirilah jawabannya tidak perlu disebut lagi... :)
Jadi "ya hati-hati taruh barang!"
Pernah nggak?
Lupa parkir mobil dimana,sampe mengitari satu lantai basement, dan setelah cape nyari dan balik lagi nyari ternyata mobil loe ada didepan mata.
Pernah nggak?
Dari arah DI Panjaitan mau ke Gedung Antam malah jadi ke Taman Anggrek?
Pernah nggak?
Mau ke PIM dari tanah kusir tapi malah muter ke pakubuwono dan akhirnya lewat radio dalam?
Pernah nggak?
Kehilangan tiket parkir lebih dari dua kali dalam jangka waktu 3 bulan?
Pernah nggak?
Lupa sama nomor pin ATM sendiri, padahal ngambil duit bisa lebih dari seminggu sekali?
Damn.where is my brain dude!and it's happening cuma dalam jangka waktu 3 bulan..OMG...
Saying I love you, sometimes it was a hardest word to say. We thought that, these words don’t need to be said verbally. It is like, “You know that I love you, from the way I treat you, so I don’t need to spell it out for you.”
I was kind a smiling with what happens this morning, my mom told me when I was prepared my self to go to work, “hey, you forget to tell I love you” she said. I have a glance look and think “Do I have to?”
“I love you” she said, and I was replied her”I love you too mom.” and she is add “Mario Teguh said that every morning we have to said I love You , because it is give a good energy and it is a pray for you” and I reply “Who is Mario Teguh? Anyway”
“You have to watch Metro TV” she said, hmm…
So, as soon as I got on my desk at my office, I check his name on Google. Oh, ok he is a motivator, and “OMG, I was play FB too often that I don’t even knew him, and the only TV channel that I was watching was Star world and AXN, hmm…too much CSI, Numbers and Grey’s Anatomy in my daily life”
From that moment I just realizing, that saying I love you, it was a magical word, it is make my day and make me feel grateful every inch of it. I know I love my mom, but I never thought I have to say it verbally.
I got easily said that word to my boyfriend when I have one, but I never said that word to my own mom and the sad part is I never get a chance to said the word "I LOve you" to my own Dad.
So Mom, I LOVE YOU!”
You know she is not right for you
Not the one that you have been waiting to
But why you holding on me, to stay with you all the time
Makes thing that is so wrong, be right for you
You are a man
You said, you have a fucked up love live
I think you are the one who mess it up
While you can cut up her when you feel it is not right
But why you holding on me, to stay with you all the time
Makes thing that is so wrong, be right for you
Well, you are a man
When you told me that I was in a wrong love line
I know you are so right, and I was so wrong
But I am not holding on you, to stay with me all the time
Makes thing that is so wrong, be right for me
Because, you are not my man
There were time to let go, there were time to forget...
"Sudahlah Cus!" it's the right word to reset my state of mind..
To be fine, to be normal, to back on track and to be ok....
Hal ini terbesit ketika gue tersadar kenapa banyak banget nama panggilan buat gue. Yang kadang bikin gue bingung "who am i exactly" hihihiihih...
Untuk banyak orang mungkin cukup satu saja nama panggilan yang mereka gunakan. Misalkan, namanya Tini yah sampe tua ya Tini panggilannya, tono ya tono teruss....tapi gue baru "ngeh" gue pake termin umur, pas SD siapa, SMP dipanggil apa, SMU dan kuliah apa...beda2 loh,,,nama panggilannya, termasuk untuk setiap teman gue, mereka punya nama punya panggilan sendiri buat gue, tidak tahu karena memang gue orang nya ikut ajah, atau itu artinya panggilan sayang..alah..pusink dech..
Tapi bener loh, hal ini yang kadang bikin gue mikir, ketika diperkenalkan sama orang, gue langsung mikir "yang ngenalin gue, manggil gue apa neh, biasanya gue nyesuain"..cape ya??
Waktu TK dipanggil Lia
Waktu SD dipanggil Dewi
Waktu SMP dipanggil Tri (ih..Tri?)
Waktu SMU dan Kul S1 Icus
Eh Waktu kul lanjutannya S1 juga ada juga yang panggil Suci..(suci gak ya gue??.)
Kalo ngantor pake panggilan Lia lagi donk...
Orang rumah, panggil Lia juga pastinya
Nah, kalo panggilan dari temen..hmm laen lagi..
Ichang, Icung, Icuy, Cussy, Tiga, dan Cumi alah.. aduhh...(ayo ngaku sapa ajah tuh yang suka manggil gue dengan nama itu :))
Who am i anyway? yang pasti TRISUCI SEPTALIA DEWI kali ya...
Berjalan ditepian waktu
Sangat lelah ketika itu menunggu
Aku sangat ingin bertemu kamu
Aku tahu kamu tahu itu
Dari kala itu sampai entah kapan
Kamu selalu menjadi rumah bagiku
Hanya cukup tatap wajahmu
Aku ingin pulang kepada kamu
Detik hati berjalan tak tentu
Aku seperti anak panah yang tak tentu arah
Karena kehilanngan pijakanku
Dan itu karena kehilangan dirimu
16 Nov'08 06.55 am
I just recently watch infotainment on my morning day. There she was, a female politician (who used to be an artist), who is being sued by a university coz she was spread some news that this university involved what she believed, which is deceived the truth about her opponent education history. She claimed that her opponent has a false diploma. She said that based on what she has investigated that her opponent just needs 1.5 years to finish her bachelor degree.
Well, it is so common that when there is some election, to lay low their opponent is a must. They will spread some news that could affect their opponent images in a front of public.
Nevertheless, how she reacts, when her opponent won the election and she was being sued, was the most surprising. She claimed that she lose the election coz the government was also involved. OMG….Why does she just accepted the reality that she is lose, and try the next election. Is it giving her better image for her to the public? *sigh*..
To lay low our opponent it is not just happen on the election matters. It is happen to all matters as long as correlated with ego. No one loves to be a loser. There is another story about this kind of story. There is a band vocalist that claimed that her wife (soon to be his ex-wife) suffer some kind disease that coz from a false sex behavior. So, his soon to be ex-wife, was also claimed, that she was once has that disease coz, it was her husband who is causing it. OMG, again? Is it so personal, to discussed this kind of thing in a front of public? They are thrown out their own image….To claim and be claimed, is so tiring. The husband (in this case) he has his ego, to save his ass, don’t want to be a loser, coz that there were a fact that he was cheat on his wife, and for the wife side, it is time for her to defend her dignity (way the go girl! Loh?). The thing that I like to discussed in this case is how is the husband defend his losing ass stuff by claiming the thing that is so personal. His ego ask him to do that, he was un –satisfied being exposed for the love affair that he has done, that is why he has to defended himself. Damned…
Acceptance is the main point in here, as I concluded. To lay low our opponent it is not the answer. It is so true; to accept that we are losing is the hardest thing to do. No one loves to be a loser or losing their ass. Nevertheless, if it was meant to be happen, accepted and move on, will you?
I am a kind of person that absorb and digest, all the the things that i have heard or read. So, "if i were boy" song by beyonce, it is really made me think, and wondering. "was it, if i were a boy, i could undestand more about the thing that i haven't known before." It is like to have a mind mapping for they though,what they feel and how they are react. Coz,all i know, that men are from mars, women are from venus. Not to mention, we have a different mind area, they are the logic one, we (women) the opposite one. Moreover, it is like ying and yang too, the good and the bad :p.
My ex-boss, once said that we have to have a helicopter view, to see all matters that is happen. So, we will have a wide range point of view to analyze. Not to mention, we could calculate and prepare the domino effect, for the thing that could happen. Sound, so serious? Well, she said that in the term of working area. But, we can use it in the term of relationship, i guess. Coz, to have a helicopter view, it means we will see thing not juz in one side, but from a both side to every problem or differences that is occur. It is not juz he said,she said, or he think, she think. But, it will be "we think, we said" it is like we are reconcile our differences.
So, i wish i were a boy, even juz for a day, like beyonce had sing. Coz maybe, i could understand more about them. Not to mention, to have their mind mapping and not wondering all the time.
I have watched "grey's anatomy" about a couple weeks ago and in that episode meredith grey talk about addiction. Hmm..being addict it some situation that most people would not like to be in that situation. Not to mention, it is not juz drug that causing us being addict, some habitual condition or even an existence of someone in our daily life is also give the same influence as drugs. Being needed by someone, chat with ur fren, being called three times a day, or even cheating to ur partner or even for some psycho to kill is also give the same addiction..(so scary rite heh?).
Being addict it mean causing someone to demand these addictive existence and never get enough of it, you juz, want it more and more. There are some adrenalin that is rising up every time, this kind of thing happen.
But what if, the thing that we are addicted was love or perhaps an existence of a person in our daily life. I was kind a remember an old movies, "Addicted to Love" which there were Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick on it. Meg ryan was so addict with her boyfren, so..em when she was being dumped, by his boyfren, she was juz lose control, and wondering why on earth that she was being dumped. So, she started to stalk his ex..OMG..is this kind of thing happen? in our daily life, well...emm..i guess..i heard a lot of story about it..this stalking stuff.
Is it love that causing this kind of an addiction or it is juz an obsessive impulsive of someone that causing it? The feeling of could not have something that we are eager to have it, it is like give us some curiosity, asking some question which started with the letter of "W" ..Why..Why..and Why..
To being addict was hurtful, but to let go of it, it is more painful, like drug, i guess. But, coz it was a person that we are addicted to, so we can not bought in some street, or there are no free trial for it, no one will give it away, so we have to deal it.
Love addiction, have you ever been in that situation? or am i have this kind of addiction already? hmm..i wonder...
Well, diane warren had written a song based on the book (tv show) that oprah had discussed,which i had wrote on my note before. That song has a beautiful lyrics, and i like to write it down in here.Oya, nick lachey is the one who sing it by the way and the title is "ordinary day"
I wish i could tell u, the things i never got the chance to
i wish i was with u now, to see u smile again
i wish we had more time, but time goes by so fast
a moment comes, and then the moment passes by, in the blink of an eye,and if i have one wish
i wouldn't ask for money
i wouldn't ask for fame
i wouldn't ask for the power to make this world change
if i could have one thing, that one thing that i would choose
is one more ordinary day with u
i wish i could see u, and be there where my arms could reach u
i wish i could let u know how much u touched my life
maybe a little time, is the time we get
the words we long to say are words that go unsaid
u can't go back again
..I have heard this song like 20th times by today, by the way..*sigh*
I was watching oprah on my saturday morning. I have to admit, my eyes was drowning with tears while watching that show. Oprah discussed, about a tv show that is based on book "one more day". I could not remember the author's name,but i clearly remember, what oprah discussed in the whole show.
"if u have a chance to have one more day to spend, with someone, who will it that be?"
.. I know my answer, it would be with my dad who has pass away 4 years ago. I will spend it not in a fancy way, but juz as ordinary day, like i used to have with him. Eat gado2 at menteng, go to some bookstore,wait for him at his campus while he give a lecture, it was so ordinary. At that time, i dont put that ordinary day as on my extraordinary agenda. I juz put it as a regular day, not give an enough appreciation on the day that i have with him. That today, i juz realizing,it was my beautiful ordinary day with my dad.
I guess most people (including me!) not give an appropriate apreciation to the ordinary that we have on each day. We got traffic every morning, listening the same radio station everyday, pick up ur spouse at their workplace, or take ur niece to the mall,etc, we put it juz as an ordinary day but not an extraordinary one (i did too). In the other hand, watch ur favorite music concert, or to go to some fancy place to spend ur holiday, it was ur extraordinary day.If, there are no sparkle or extravaganza event on it, it juz an ordinary one.
It so true, we are realizing how precious is someone or some ordinary day that we have, when it is already gone. We started to miss our ordinary day, when we dont have it anymore in our life.That thought, made me more appreciate, what i have today, the ordinary one with my luv one (family en frenz), eventhough some of my beautiful ordinary day has gone (incl. What happened in this past two month), but i still felt grateful with what i have today which is "my ordinary day"
"is it ok,being geeky?"..Ada yg menanyakan hal itu pada g,kemarin sore. Dan yg ada dipikiran g, "is it ok?". Hmm..Mari mencari arti kata dari Geek or weirdo (dalam bhs.Indo apa ya?). Menurut g geek adalah seseorang yang dianggap outsider oleh suatu lingkungan tertentu. Bisa dilingkungan sekolah,kampus,pekerjaan,permainan or anything yg melibatkan adanya sekelompok orang disitu. Yg menjadikan seseorang menjadi "geek" bisa dari penampilan (gaya rambut,gaya berpakain,warna kulit,etc),gaya bicara,kegayaan (hihhhhi.. ), dianggap anak br, gak gaul atau memang nasib dia aja selalu dianggap geek :p. But, eniwey, no one choose to be a geek right? tapi lingkungannya yang membuatnya seperti itu, she/he trying to be normal, tapi norma/kebiasaan pergaulan yang ada disekitarnya, say no to them. Dalam artian you are not normal according to them, you are geek. Atau you are becoming geek, coz u want to, u want to be alone, your environment say no to the idea,boom you are geek. Hmm..Susah jg?
Am i, a geek? Kind a, i guess. Maksud g, g rasa dalam diri setiap orang, ada geek inside of them, tapi tergantung kemauan mereka sendiri untuk mengakuinya. Mungkin,sekali dua kali, kita merasa being rejected oleh suatu lingkungan, atau felt alone, no one comes around, ur laptop is ur soul, ur cellphone is ur 4eva fren, en fb is ur playground. G rasa semua itu bisa digolongkan geek juga..Kayanya..
Tapi, is it ok,to be a geek? G rasa, it is ok, you are a geek untuk orang lain, tapi as long as u have,ur true friend,eventhough juz one or two not a thousand frenz. It is ok to be geek today, tommorow, and more.
So, how geek are u?
Love bisa dimulai dari mana saja,kapan saja,dan kita tidak akan pernah kira datang dr mana. Bagi yang sudah baca buku laskar pelangi ataupun menonton filmnya pasti akan tahu kisah cute love story ikal dan aling. Karena ikal merasa telah melihat kuku terindah yang pernah ia lihat selama ini. Ketika dia melihat ada sejulur tangan,dengan kuku yang berkilauan,semua terasa indah,bunga beterbangan,ruangan pengap tidak terasakan. Cinta memang datang tak dijemput, pulang tak diantar. Dengan media yang kita tidak pernah tahu media dan caranya. Bahkan,hal itu bisa membuat hal diluar logika bagi yang mengalaminya. Kalo ingat cerita ikal,tentunya kita akan lihat bagaimana,ikal berjuangnya untuk melihat kuku terindahnya,dengan melakukan perjalananan jauh, dan dengan alasan membeli kapur tulis untuk sekolahnya. Dan gue rasa, semua orang, mostly ..Been there..Done that..Do the crazy thing coz of love,yang jika logikanya bisa bicara akan berucap"gak penting banget dech loe lakuin ini". But, hey who could blame love, yang datang tak dijemput , pulang tak diantar. Dan ketika dia datang dengan tiba-tiba, rasakan kejatuhannya,excitementnya, sakit hatinya,karena semua itu datang sebagai full package darinya. Hidup cuma sekali, dan kenapa harus hindarinya bukan?
Sebenarnya ide nulis hal ini sudah ada dari hari Lebaran, tapi baru bisa nulis sekarang karena kesalip sama hal-hal lain. Cerita ini dimulai dimana gue harus bolak balik kerumah sakit di daerah fatmawati itu. Nah, ada yang menggelitik dan mengutik pikiran gue, ketika gue menuju rumah sakit ini. Ketika gue akan masuk ke jalan yang menuju pintu masuk rumah sakit tersebut adalah sebuah tong yang diletakkan ditengah jalan seperti pemisah jalan antara yang akan masuk kejalan tersebut dan yang keluar tertulis dengan jelas di tong tersebut
“ANDA MEMASUKI KAWASAN LAPANGAN GOLF, JIKA MOBIL ANDA TERKENA BOLA GOLF, BUKAN TANGGUNG JAWAB PENGELOLA”
Haduh, gue langsung terpikir gue kaya masuk ke area medan tempur ada peluru nyasar bisa terjadi kapan aja, dan tidak akan yang tanggung jawab akan keselamatan gue (istilahnya tertembak…tertembaklah gue, kan lagi perang..hadapi resikomu bukan??) . Jadi dengan penuh kewas-was gue masuk kejalan itu dengan kepala yang lihat keatas takut ada bola golf nyasar (tapi tidak penting juga gue lihat keatas, secara kan gue dalam mobil dan misalpun ada bola golf nyasar tidak mungkin juga menghindar bukan? dan tidak akan terkena juga kepala gue juga secara gue dalam mobil juga gitu). Eniwey, dalam perjalanan itu ada pemandangan lucu juga, kita bisa lihat lapangan golf secara open air, gila gue pikir? Jadi benar tidak ada pembatas..tembok pun tak ada.. jaring 2 gitu tidak ada jadi benar..GOLF VIEW (buka river view ajah kaya kalo perumahan) dan bisa dengan jelas lihat orang yang lagi main golf secara jelas, menyenangkan bukan??? (pic attached)
Nah, ini untungnya (orang Indonesia memang untung terus?) ini hanya lapangan golf kalau ini lapangan tembak gimana? Tidak lucu juga..dan benar-benar jadi area perang sesungguhnya, kita tidak tahu kapan akan ada peluru nyasar..lagi lewat jalan tersebut dengan tenangnya….eh ada peluru nyasar nahlo..mau nengok orang sakit malah jadi masuk rumah sakit???
Nah ini buat gue yang naik mobil, kalo yang naik motor atau pejalan kaki gimana ceritanya? Terkena bola golf yang tidak pernah tahu kapan datangnya (seperti bintang jatuh misalnya? Tidak tahu kapan datangnya, tapi ini ditungguin, nah bola golf dielakkan pastinya).
Intinya sih gue tulis, ini kenapa ketika mereka (si pengelola) tahu, apa yang mereka kelola (lapangan golf) adalah suatu yang dapat merugikan orang jika ada yang terkena akibatnya, mereka tidak bersifat preventif terhadapnya (dengan memasang tembok misalnya atau dengan jaring2 itu?). maksud gue, mereka tahu what they did, will effect somebody else or bahkan merusak jika terkena bola itu. Tetapi mereka malah melakukan tindakan yang pendek aja jalannya, “KALO TERKENA BUKAN TANGGUNG JAWAB KITA LOH” seperti mau bilang, salah siapa? (salah gue? salah temen2 gue?..hihihi) Kenapa lewat sini, kalo akan terkena resiko sendiri.
Atau bahkan mungkin nieh, mereka dalam promonya untuk menarik orang bermain golf disitu, ditulis “PLAY GOLF HERE, YOU WILL SEE THE EXTRAORDINARY VIEW and YOU CAN CRASH OTHER PEOPLE CAR TOO ”..jadi sambil main golf..lihat orang lewat, mobil seliweran, malah kalo beruntung bisa lihat bola golf nya kena mobil orang jadi full excitement..not juzz golf…
Responsibility is the key gue rasa, dan sensitivity itu penting, mungkin mereka tidak bermaksud seperti itu, bermaksud bola golf itu sampai keluar dari lapangannya, tapi mereka tidak melihatnya secara luas, bahwa hal itu pasti terjadilah, siapa yang bisa ngatur itu bola untuk tidak keluar lapangan, bukan? Dan juga tidak sensitive bahwa akan merusak milik orang lain jika terkena akibatnya (terkena bola golf). Kenapa mereka malah melemparkan ke orang lain,yang mungkin dan pasti juga tidak maksud untuk terkena bola golf.
In our life juga gitu gue rasa, responsibility and sensitivity juga penting. Dalam artian we will never know apa yang kita perbuat itu bisa effect apa keorang lain, kita tidak sadar akan hal itu, karena kita hanya melihat diri sendiri sebagai pusatnya dan sebagai kacamatanya, sehingga ketika orang lain melihatnya secara berbeda atau menyakiti mereka tanpa kita sadari dan kita seakan menyalahkan orang lain, dan bilang “Sorry, I don’t mean to””..you don’t tell me that..” karena tentunya orang lain tersebut terkadang dan bahkan seringkali tidak bisa selalu ungkapkan karena terkadang tidak ada yang perlu dibicarakan. atau segan untuk diucapkan, salah untuk diutarakan tetapi sensitive saja yang diperlukan….
Gue denger tentang hal ini di radio Hardrock “Good Morning Hard Rocker Show” ketika akan berangkat kantor seperti biasanya and yup…percakapan ini muncul ajah “Kenapa perempuan ketika menuju umur 30 tahun atau bahkan sudah lebih dari umur segitu jadi lebih sensitive atau bahkan jadi galak? Hmm…. Gue langsung terpikir am i? is it? Really? Next year I’m going thirty on 30th September..(damn so many thirty in this line?? Apakah gue lebih sensitive??
Hmmmm..gue rasa ini ini memang women issue bgd, ketika angka 3 (damn! angka 3 lagi secara nama gue aja ada Tri nama depannya) sudah ada muncul ketika kita tulis dibiodata, atau bahkan diprofile, tension muncul dan akan banyak pertanyaan lanjutan muncul “Kapan?” dan akan banyak model kapan disitu, meski intinya sama, ini gue list :
1. Kapan nikahnya
2. Kapan undangannya?
3. Kapan nyusulnya?
4. Kapan nih?
Dan benar juga ketika pertanyaan ini muncul akan semakin muncul layer pelindung diri, akan pertanyaan-pertanyaan tersebut, to be not hurt with those question (coz doesn’t mean we don’t want to, we think about it, we want it, but we haven’t found the one for it, and we still try to found it) atau mungkin akan banyak alasan lainnya yang setiap orang punya dilubuk hatinya.
Pas 25 tahun ditanya, muncul layer partama, tahun berikutnya ditanya kembali muncul layer berikutnya, dan layer itu semakin menebal dan menebal..dan akhirnya menggunung…dan akhirnya being sensitive muncul.
Am I being more sensitive? Gue emang belum muncul that sensitivity, karena gue juga belum mencapai angka 3 itu atau mungkin juga udah muncul tapi gue gak nyadar. Mungkin orang yang melihat hal tersebut akan berkomentar berbeda dari gue katakan saat ini. What about you? Are u?
Biasanya aku punya tembok untuknya
Untuk hadang rasa sungguhku padanya
Yang aku tahu selalu untuknya
Biasanya aku tahu batasnya
Yang bisa buat aku, tahu sejauh mana langkahku mendekatnya
Untuk temaninya, dikala dia memerlukannya
Biasanya aku tahu logikanya
Untuk hadapinya, yang merupakan rumahku
Dikala aku bingung hadapi duniaku dan dunianya
Biasanya aku tahu
Semua hal yang aku pikir tahu tentangnya
Tetapi ketika dia bilang butuh aku
Dan ucapkan selama ada aku, dia siap hadapi semua sedihnya
Aku kehilangan tembok aku, logikaku
Yang aku susun selalu, dari sejak aku kenal dirinya tapi tak pernah aku akuinya
Kamu bilang kamu punya tiga ribu pasukanmu
Yang selalu siap temani kamu
Diwaktu sendumu, tetapi kenapa masih cari aku?
Kamu bilang kamu punya tiga ribu pasukanmu
Yang siap sedia untuk kamu selalu
Kapan saja kamu mau, tapi kenapa masih minta temani aku?
Disetiap waktu, dikala sedihmu
Kamu bilang kamu punya tiga ribu pasukanmu
Dan ketika aku tanya kamu kenapa masih butuh aku
Ternyata kamu cuma bilang "aku salah satu pasukanmu"
Jadi aku harus temani kamu dan aku bukan satu-satunya
yang akan kamu cari ketika kamu butuh kawanmu
Untuk isi hampamu
Most people akan dengan cepat dan tanggap ketika ditanya "How you defining the meaning of love". Gue? baru tau sekarang..sigh...telat? Gue baru baru realize apa yang gue rasa, yang gue love, the meaning of love, yang gue ingin, baru sekarang after ten stupid years? let's say i've been using my logical thinking way beyond my own feeling juz to keep him by my side.
Dan ketika dia drag gue too deep into his problem, tembok gue, logic gue melt down and..boom..i was realizing that my own feeling was never change since the day i knew him and it was ten years a go...
Damn...my own feeling!
